The “C” Word – Negotiating Cancer in One Easy Lesson


This is a depressing subject. Talking about cancer – so don’t read further thinking I’ll add any enlightenment to it. It’s the disease where at best the cure feels more awful than the curse. And I don’t believe the politically correct crap that labels all cancer patients as brave or heroic, so I’ll probably be labeled a terrible misanthrope by the “politically correct” community.

I’ve just finished my third bout with cancer, and I wasn’t the one fighting cancer. The doctors did the fighting. They are the generals. Radiation and poisonous chemicals are their weapons of choice. My body was only the bleak and scarred battlefield.

I had two options in the matter – decide if I wanted to live, therefore submitting to the treatment, or whether I wanted to just let the dark side of nature take its course. My choice has been, each time so far, to say screw nature – I want to live.

I want to live to do the things I denied myself while getting through Life 101. I put work first a lot, often deferring to it even when I really didn’t need to. Life is, fairly and naturally, a struggle. Yet sometimes we embrace more struggle than is necessary.

So with cancer, I find myself dealing with one of the ugly flaws in nature. Maybe it is luck of the draw. Maybe I ate the wrong things or just ate too much. Maybe my genes weren’t up to muster. Moot point. Cancer is part of nature, and unfortunately a part of me. I’m not happy about it, and frankly – when I undergo treatment and suffer the many sickening side effects – I feel completely entitled to be sometimes depressed.

For those who have loved ones undergoing chemotherapy. I have this advice: Don’t tell them not to be depressed. They are entitled. Instead give them something helpful to distract them from their situation. Engage them. Occupy their minds with anything and everything else.

That, for better or worse, is my coping mechanism. I do my best to completely zone out when undergoing chemo. I don’t want to share stories with my fellow victims. Many are worse off than I am now. And regardless of the heavy sympathy I have for them, I’m reminded I could eventually be there myself – a place I do not want to be. Truly depressing. And it is not good to wallow in depression. I allow myself just a little bit. Allow your loved ones a little, then get their minds off it.

That’s about all I have to say – no pearls of wisdom. However, I’ll add that life is meant to be lived to its fullest and brightest. Do your best. Be your best. And allow yourself life’s rewards when you’ve earned them. Otherwise, you’ll only regret not showing yourself some kindness when it was deserved.

Last word – my life is my own. Your life is your own. The doctors don’t own it. Neither does the government, church or anyone else. When anyone reaches the point where they are no longer able to physically function on their own without pain, it is their right and their decision alone whether to end it. By all means, rage against the dying of the light, but rage too against living without hope. For end-of-life decisions, you must make your own rules.


353 thoughts on “The “C” Word – Negotiating Cancer in One Easy Lesson”

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  20. how do i feel about it? i want him gone, cc sabathia gave up five homers last ight as well and you didnt see him walking out and quitting on his teammates. he took it like a man and realized that the rays were the better team last night. ship the fucking baby out and rid us of the constant cancer he has become. if you are a cub fan, do you really want castro and our other young talent around this overpaid overweight dude?

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  22. Ok, one more comment: Yes there is absolutely grief at the recognition of having left our animal being. Perhaps more importantly though, is the fear that if we fully embrace the animal part of our nature we will become ravenous, unruly beasts. This fear has been reinforced through multitudes of moral restrictions throughout the millennia and is now hard-wired into the brain (psyche) of most of humanity. Contacting and reconciling our animal urges is much more daunting than the still important process of grieving the loss of our sensuality or even facing our death.

  23. Mas porque é que andam ainda aqui? Bardamerda para todos, se em Julho já a vossa visão é a da catástrofe, do fracasso anunciado, vão procurar outro clube! Não acreditam em nada, é sempre tudo mau, livra, cuidado não mordam a língua se pretendem ter uma vida longa! Este blog é sempre a mesma treta!Teresa

  24. You're so right about the not spending much time in the room, and choosing it accordingly. We stayed at the All-Star Sports and it was perfect. I think some of the other hotels are gorgeous, but when you're on a budget, Disney is expensive enough! This post makes me want to go sooo badly. It's been too long. 🙂

  25. SomeOne Пане Honor, от не потрібно такого робити. Зараз почнеться бруд на міжрелігійному рівні. Я, Вами згадану особу зовсім не підтримую.

  26. I’m OK with the idea of a couple getting married at McDonald’s for sentimental reasons, but the idea of McDonald’s decision to offer a $1,700 wedding package is just depressing. It doesn’t make sense, because the end result is the same, but one seems kind of sweet and the other seems really, really sad.

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  29. Bon día querido Rafa, desdeluego que estoy de lo MÁs triste por la indecente vida que llevan los Borbones, no se merecen vivir en la calle porque un banco les ha sacado de casa, no se merecen no trabajar ninguno porque no lo encuentran… es de pena, he pensado en mandarles una fiambrera con macarrones para que puedan comer por lo menos hoy.BESOS.MUAKKKKKKKKKKK

  30. Francesca,This is a great overview of the different backup options. I’m using Google Drive for work stuff at the moment but may switch back to Dropbox simply because GD keeps crashing on my machine. I feel it still needs some work doing on it before it’s as reliable as Dropbox. Also use Skydrive for personal stuff and Carbonite for general backup.thanks, Valerie

  31. Congratulations on having one of the most sophisticated blogs I’ve came across in some time! Its just incredible how much you can take away from something simply because of how visually beautiful it is. Youve put together a great blog space great graphics, videos, layout. is definitely a must-see blog!

  32. First of all, this is one of the funniest pieces of writing I’ve encountered lately, and that’s from David Sedaris, George Carlin and Jon Stewart fan! Well done!Secondly, brilliant list – I agree 100%! (3 weeks before my 6-months trip to Asia I have managed to scale down my backpack to 8 kilos – btw, switching from eye-shadows to eyeliner pencils saved me enormous amount of space and weight, for make up I love too!)

  33. Oh I do like fallen angels, and I actually quite enjoyed Legion! The cover is a bit freaky, but I’m sure that was intentional:) I’m always a fan of good world building, so thanks for sharing this one!Jenny recently posted..

  34. Hmm it looks like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any recommendations for beginner blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.

  35. Thomas en ik zijn erg blij met de draagdoek. Het consult wat we hierbij hebben gekregen was erg fijn.Rachel is erg geduldig en denkt met je mee over je wensen. Dit is erg prettig!Je bent een stuk zekerder over het gebruik van de doek en je kan deze, zonder eerst te worstelen, thuis meteen gebruiken.Rachel super bedankt!!!Groetjes,Yvonne en Thomas

  36. Lori, maybe the reason you can suddenly feel him close by you now is that he is? I've heard that when a person passes there's a period of healing time for them and then they return to watch over you….I like to believe this is true. So please, in your heart, believe that your Tony is still with you in spirit, watching you and your babies and everything they do and learn. He might not be there physically and that hurts so much, but I'm sure he's there in spirit and not missing a single thing.HTH *hugs*

  37. ^that has nothing to do with being smart or not. And any savvy buyer knows that kind of practice is rampant. And certainly all realtors have access to that kind of information (re-listing), and so will the prospective buyer who hired that realtor.

  38. Ruth,Thank you for the kind words! I am a published writer. Mostly book reviews and general interest pieces in Mademoiselle and Good Housekeeping and some Conde Nast. I’m working on my novel now and expect it out next year. You will be the first to know!Best regards,VJ

  39. I was basically wanting to know if you ever considered changing the layout of your site? Its well written; I enjoy what you have got to state. But maybe you can create a little more in the way of content so people might connect to it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or two images. Maybe you could space it out better?

  40. Il est grotesque que le dit « paysan périgourdin » se déclare « bien content » de l’élection de M. Obama… et navrant de constater la place que ces élections ont tenu/tiennent dans les médias. Obama, pour qui j’ai d’ailleurs voté faute de mieux, est autant sinon plus « Ã  droite » que M. Sarkozy. Quant à ses constantes références à Dieu…

  41. From your ……We may become an endangered species by century’s end, but we’re unlikely to become extinct for several millennia after that — just increasingly few in numbers and increasingly irrelevant to the ecosystems and recovery of the planet from yet another great extinction…- Even the doomers are wishful thinkers.

  42. Wow. Das sind schöne Bilder gewor­den. Solche habe ich noch nicht ein­fan­gen kön­nen. Sind die nach­be­ar­bei­tet wor­den oder hast du die schon so vor die Linse bekom­men? Ist das eine Bild mit den Bäumen ein HDR-Bild oder sieht es nur zufäl­lig so aus?

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  44. Keli, Israel is there to be an example for all of us to follow. When we see Israel standing up and doing what's right, it is inspiring to all of us to do likewise. But Israel needs to get it's leftist disease under control. It has it as bad or worse than the US right now.

  45. Jen, your card is stunning! And so is Amy’s! WOW! What talent you both have! Gorgeous, drool-worthy coloring and amazing details on both! I want to be like you guys when I grow up! Hoping to play along as I love this sketch! Thanks

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  47. Congratulations on having one of the most sophisticated blogs Ive come across in some time! Its just incredible how much you can take away from something simply because of how visually beautiful it is. Youve put together a great blog space –great graphics, videos, layout. This is definitely a must-see blog!

  48. Lilikoi margaritas! When’s the next plane to Hawaii?I made rumtopf last year with lots of fruit from our and my parents’ garden, which wasn’t as much work as your lilikoi juice seems to be, and we’ve still got some left. (Who’d have thought it’d last so long? )BTW, am I wrong in thinking lilikoi is the word you use for passion fruit, or is it a specific kind?

  49. I followed your recipe, step by step, however it takes me 65 folds.Mmmm the other point was that my macarons haven’t the feet!!!! They are cracked!!! And the first batch looks better than second!! I attacked a picture and I hope you can help me!!!!Thanks Ann!!!!

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  60. this very well, and I have blathered too long. I do invite any of you to post these comments either on my website’s Heartfeldt blog where I posted it or on the OTI site where the article was originally published. It’s an important conversation. If we’re going to find new paradigms, first we must practice them with moral certitude ourselves

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  69. yo si me apunto, quiero seguir mejorando, haber que tal me sale esta vez, muchas gracias patty por haber visitado mi blog, es un honor que me hayas dejado un comentario ya que soy fan de tu trabajo!!!! y liz mil gracias tambien por visitar mi blog. saluditos y aqui nos seguimos blogueando!!!!!

  70. One of the many things I love about your wardrobe is the fantastic array of colour, and your suitcase doesn't disappoint. I need to take inspiration, sometimes it's too easy to get stuck in a colourless rut.Have fun at the dinner party xx

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  72. Reverse mortgages, as a financial service, are not necessarily rip-offs (just like mortgages and other financial services are not necessarily rip-offs)…….but the problem is they’re hard for laypeople to value. And there definitely are issues if you want to sell the house before you die (which does happen).Fixed annuities might be a better way to go. And maybe renting a home.

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  74. chuck / If you have a chance to read this comment before deciding to sell on fiverr, take my advise and don’t.they are jerks when it comes to customer support. You will eventually have a problem, and when you do, good luck dealing with their “holier than thou” attitude.

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  78. I`m surprised the Fraser Institute is still around. You would think their donors, after betting the house on the bull markets (assuming they practice what they preach), would have seen their wallets considerably lightened during the GREAT CRASH of 08.Oh wait, they probably got bailed out in GREAT ECONOMIC RECOVERY of 09.These bloody socialists and their bloody entitlement culture!

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  80. November 1, 2010 at 7:01 amIt really is simple, isn’t it? Focus on making your actions deliver insane or massive value. Great post Srinivas. Every morning setting aside 15 minutes to think and plan to deliver massive amounts of value sounds like time well spent. Then all you have to do is deliver, right? Reply

  81. Danielle is truly awesome. I am her aunt in Colo. and have not spent much time with her thru the years. Everytime I do see her It’s like we’re old friends and the event is great. She helped make Joan’s 90th b-day such a success. She just exudes talent and can do anything she puts her mind to. I’m very proud to be part of her family!

  82. Hi there!,I like gonuts a lot!,especially the pastillas de leche!hmmm yummy!But one time i encounter an undersized donuts!i asked the crew why are the donuts are very very small, and she answered that it was the regular size of donuts. i am just wondering why the sizes of their donuts are not cosistent,and sometimes it is a lot firmer than usual. the quality of go nuts are changing, i think kk is now the best.pls do something regarding this complains, i think go nuts are starting to lose regular customers because of it’s negligence regarding the quality of their donuts.

  83. Hi, Neat post. There’s a problem together with your website in web explorer, could check this? IE nonetheless is the market chief and a huge portion of people will miss your magnificent writing because of this problem.

  84. The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a 40 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  85. / totalmente incrìvel!só gente burra,acredita que isso é impossível,está quase se tornando realidade! não vejo a hora de ficar pronta!vai ser um avanço da ciência!:)Gostei deste comentário ou não: 2

  86. This would be” the ultimate” for my daughter, even though she is only thirteen she talent beyond her years in fashion. I’ve taken her designs to the design and technology centre where we live and they have told me she is extremely talented and the ability to become a great designer.She has been making things for her toys sine the age of 7.

  87. Meus “parabéns” ao novo serviço prestado pelo recolhimento de Resíduos Sólidos da Sanepar, de forma “plausível” começa a nova gestão. Mostrem ao menos que são humanos, deem toda a assistência para a família, e indenização, já que não pode trazer mais a vida do rapaz. Mostrem mais compromisso para a população sim, mas principalmente compromisso com responsabilidade social.

  88. pps And not forgetting, while I'm about it, the clear Carolingian book hands developed under his patronage – the clearest, most legible letter forms, to our eyes, between the Classical period and the Renaissance, whose "Roman" type-faces were largely based on Carolingian examples mistakenly believed to be of Classical date.

  89. It is difficult to know why God does things the way He does…but just resting in the fact that He knows what He's doing helps! What a blessing to be able to minister to your children with song…and then to hear the fruits of your labor for Christ sung in the next room. The seeds that you are planting today will grow to produce fruit for their children and beyond.Blessings, Joan

  90. Kürzlich hörten wir im Radio einen Schnecken-Witz:Da ist ein Mann und steht Schlange an einem Schalter. Es sind viele Menschen vor ihm und es geht unendlich langsam. Schließlich reißt ihm der Geduldsfaden und er ruft: "Was ist denn hier los? Habt ihr alle Schnecken gegessen?"Ich weiß nicht, ob das jetzt zum Lesen lustig klingt, aber gesprochen und im Dialekt war es köstlich! 🙂

  91. SueK | May 1, 2012 at 1:32 pm | Thank U, SueK! I trust you will forgive me for my negative comments about Gov. Romney. I am a Southern Man, born and raised, thus Perry was my preference until his repeated numb-skull episodes were too much to ignore.The thing I admire most about Gov. Romney is that he trashed all his opponents. I trust he will do the same to bo. I hope a SuperPac will expose bo as the homosexual pervert that he is, not because I am prejudiced against gays, but because bo’s downlow lifestyle will destroy his support in the Church going Afro-American community.

  92. this technology doesn’t add a digital blur – for all intents and purposes it’s *actual blur* – the software simply selects the correct light from the recorded information; nothing that wasn’t there to begin with gets added. No emulation is happening here, the camera takes a photo and captures (just about) every available light possibility.

  93. Однажлы в студеную летнюю пору. Бродил Я по сети. Наткнулся на пост. Понравилось очень! Респект выражаю! И даже закладки себе добавляю!

  94. Premetto che non me ne intendo, ma una zona nera non è normale che abbia un livello di errore minore?Mi sembra di ricordare che quando si tratta di trasmettere delle immagini digitali, zone di colore omogeneo vengono gestite in modo piu' efficiente dai programmi di compressione (penso ad esempio ai cartoni animati che richiedono minor banda durante le trasmissioni satellitari proprio per la maggiore omogeneità dei colori usati).

  95. Hi,wieder ein super interessanter Artikel.Da die Hintergründe zu den Plugins von Gutemine für mich als einfachen User nicht so ganz verständlich sind. Hätte ich folgende Anregung könnste Du aus deiner Sicht in “einfachen Worten” die Speichererweiterungstools (Freeze, Barry Alan, Dumbo, gibt es noch mehr ?) von Gutemine vergleichen, d.h. Vor- und Nachteile gegenüberstellen und vorallem welches Pulgin ist für welchen Anwendungsfall ideal.Viele Grüsse Klempner

  96. Oh, Stacy, you are a perfect example of the resilience of the human spirit. I can’t even imagine what you have gone through or what the victims of Sandy are going through, but I have so much compassion. Life does take us on some sorrowful journeys, but if we hold together and always remember we are so much more than our experiences, we can make it through. I do hope your words reach these recent storm victims, I just know it will help. Blessings to you and to all of those who have gone through such sorrow. xx

  97. Steampunk is pretty funky, I love how cool it can be. I also just so happens that I live near a horse ranch and a cattle farm father down the road I've never been to either in person though, oh and there is also another cattle farm in the other direction on my street.

  98. Witam i jak Mikołajki się udały?! Dzisiaj to dopiero w wielu domach będzie się działo, czyszczenie i stawianie butów, poprawianie poduszek, ach te Mikołajki!A jak zdrówko? A biało też u Was jest Pani Joasiu. Buziaki ślę Kubusiowi, Panią gorąco pozdrawiam. PA.

  99. when a person dies, you dont say anything unflattering about them. The wisdom of such a tradition is obviously beyond explanation at this point.Is anyone else now thinking of Orson Scott Card’s “Speaker for the Dead” idea?

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  102. Things i have observed in terms of pc memory is the fact that there are specific features such as SDRAM, DDR and so on, that must fit the specs of the motherboard. If the pc’s motherboard is rather current and there are no operating system issues, updating the memory literally usually takes under a couple of hours. It’s on the list of easiest pc upgrade processes one can envision. Thanks for expressing your ideas.

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  104. I will always maintain that we could write social security numbers on ping pong balls, fill a swimmpng pool full of the balls, and fling in a lemur, and the ping pong ball the lemur picked would represent a better president than the current electoral process could ever provide.So much the better if the ping pong balls that represent current politicians were flattened with a hammer first. WV: Niumpers. A special strain of lemurs bred to pick pingpong balls out of swimming pools.

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  107. HiI am inesteertd in joining your one day course in September, are there any spaces left? Also, do you work on a private basis with clients (classes or blending) and if so how?Thanks a lot!Amanda

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